EMIs took away your life!
Fellow asks me why I have black hair even now. Why does the fellow have any interest in my hair is my first thought. But then I reason that in India people do that. They ask inane Ekta Kapoor serials type of questions because they don’t how to create conversation. So, I desist from giving full sarcastic answers.
So, after lot of sensible thought for two seconds I say, “I have no EMIs, that’s why.”
Fellow is crestfallen at my dubious answer.
I get into my white veshti type of groove. Full folding the veshti with one leg sweep, I say -
“Machan, when you guys studied in early 90s what did your useless parents say? Study hard. Get good job. Take care of us. There only everything went for toss. They inserted themselves for life into your life. Why? They could have nicely gone back to Palakkad or Siriperumbudur or Cuddapah or Manmad or Asansol or Kanpur or wherever they came from. No, they want to stick behind you. Or put the stick behind you. Take care of us! Mind you, they said “us”. Us could be anyone. Them as in your father and mother surely, maybe marriage of sisters, marriage of that idiot brother also surely, some assorted grannies and grandpas, throw in some uncles in village or some somber looking aunts from here and there. Us could be anyone. Then, you quietly study. It has to be Engineering or Medicine. Who studies anything else? Hotel Management? You want to become waiter eh?? Rural management? Arre, we came from rural to here and you want to go back there?? Like that. Then, you study engineering as medicine means nine years of study. You may be pissing in your pants thinking of that. You forget when Shahrukh came with Badshah film or when Rajni came with Basha. Bloody fool, you don’t even know difference between Basha and Badshah. Such is your state! Then, one day you pass. Father asks, placement done? You don’t want to tell that you have been placed in a BPO as a support executive getting 2.4 lakhs per annum. Your friends have gotten into Infosys and TCS. You are cursing them already. But you don’t want your father to curse them also. So, you say: five figure salary, Papa. Your father has crooked smile. He tells you to work hard. You go to another city and do just that. Suddenly call will come. Start saving. Don’t spend money like water. I am sending Mani uncle’s son to you for doing LIC and Fixed account. You were just going to buy some McDowell’s and you keep back the money in purse quietly. You become teetotaler. Then, mother calls. We have seen a girl for you. Good people from village. Which village, you don’t know. But photo arrives by mail. You see. One girl. You have never seen any girl closely. So, you look at this girl. You feel good. Wrong, you feel great. You say yes to marriage. Big mistake. Dowry your useless father keeps buts sends girl to you. She is also working but since you have shifted to 2 bedroom house you work harder for rent and expenses. Then, parents and in-laws come home. One by one. House small, need to buy bigger place, they say. Lousy fellows. They have stayed in coops all life long. Now want you to buy all big places. You can’t say no. You buy. EMI arrives. In between, you forget healthcare and wife becomes pregnant. Now, she has to rest, the bloody doctor friend says. So, she is not at work. Your job is everything. To go to doctor parents say that car is necessary. All nonsense. They want to ride car, that’s it. When they come for visits. So that they can tell in their town or village. Bungalow and car, both there. More EMIs. You are finished.”
“So, my dear fellow, I have not yielded to all of that. Okay, I did but I sold off the only big EMI house that I had. Now no house. One daughter. She will go somewhere. Missus and I and Missus’s mother-in-law with whom she anyway has very nice Jugalbandi. Like flute and African drums. We will live somewhere. No stress. So, why will hair go white fully? Some normal whitening is taking place.”
Also, presently, I stay away from Missus and so doubly no stress. Okay??!!
#Humour #Humor #EMI #Men #Work
